Removing Hope and Expectation from an Old Yearning

When I was hospitalized, I had my parents reconnect with me through phone and email. My last moment in the same building with them was over six years ago when my mother wrongly testified in a court of law that she thought I was a druggie. Her motivation was to have my children torn from my life and given to their father’s. The irony is that I have always been afraid of even testing/trying recreational drugs due to fear of being addicted to them. My parents gave up the idea of seeing me even prior to my birthday not even a month after I returned home. Seeing my parents was my sole wish for my birthday. An 86-year-old friend talked about her unkind mother and referred to her as being “emotionally impaired.” This was a breath of fresh air to consider dismissing the beings of my parents and seeing them as being emotionally impaired, unable to change and become more outwardly loving and compassionate WITHOUT tossing their daughter aside.

Since this revelation of what I refer to as “relabeling,” I have found that doing this is very therapeutic and helps remove hopes and expectations that I have. Where there are no hopes or expectations, life seems to be more abundant as I am not dismayed by disappointments and grief.

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