Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “16 Tons” rewritten to “8 Children”

Some people say a gal has cold  cold blood
A poor gal lives through a lot of crud
Cold blood and crud just to start
One thing I have is a real big heart

You have eight children, what do you get
A lot of laughs and a lot of fret
Saint Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
Mommy’s got to stop the sibling war

I went to the court and became one’s wife
Birthed seven children early in life.
I’ve cooked and cleaned; i’ve nagged and weaned
I’m still waiting for wisdom to be gleaned

You have eight children, what do you get
A lot of laughs and a lot of fret
Saint Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
Mommy’s got to stop the sibling war

I was born one mornin’, it was drizzlin’ rain
Preventin the Fightin’ is my middle name
I was raised in the Deep South by a mama lion
I learned real fast that cryin’ is dyin’

You have eight children, what do you get
A lot of laughs and a lot of fret
Saint Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
Mommy’s got to stop the sibling war

If you see me comin’, better step aside
A lotta kids didn’t and a lotta kids cried
A forked tongue with titanium back
You better be polite
And you better not slack

I have eight children and a husband to feed
A lot of laughter and a lot of need
Saint Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
It’s time for me to please my handsome beau!

Written 4/11/2015

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