Jimmy Dean’s “Big Bad John” Rewritten

Every morning’ at the site you could see him arrive
He stood five feet nine and weighed two eighty five
Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip
And everybody knew, ya didn’t give no lip to Big John

(Big John, Big John)
Big Bad John
(Big John)

Nobody seemed to know why Jon was picked
He applied for the job through butts he licked
He didn’t say much, he was kinda quiet and shy
And if you spoke at all, he just said, “Hi” to Big John

Some people said they knew he was hard at work
All the rest knew he was a terrible jerk
Everyone remained cleaer out of his way
Nobody wanted to earn injry pay, Big John

(Big John, Big John)
Big Bad John
(Big John)
And with all of his strength he took a mighty fall
Then a worker yelled out, “He’s now a flat ball”
And twenty men scrambled to view the dumpster floor
No one felt for the flattened poor, Big John

Through the dust and the smoke of this man made shell
Walked a giant of a man that the workers knew well
Flinging his wife with brutal force
Being treated worse than the crew, she said divorce, Big

(Big John, Big John)
Big Bad John
(Big John)

And with all of his strength he gave a mighty threat
Then my teacher yelled out, “Abi, please don’t fret”
And after court we never worried again
Now there’s only seven left who are still akin to Big John

Once there was a time when Jon was pulling nails
The end of the beam made his eye quite frail
He left the site that day with many a tears
Everybody knew there were no more fears with Big John

(Big John, Big John)
Big Bad John
(Big John)

In the end that man drank antifreeze
Since that time our lives have been a breeze
Through his mom, his body did incinerate
This all happened kind of late to big, big man, Big John

(Big John, Big John)
Big Bad John
(Big John)

(Big John)
Big Bad John

Written 4/29/2015

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