Laying It Alll On the Line and Seeing Where Everything Lands

As briefly aforementioned, I have a complicated relationship with my parents. There was wrong done to me by  them starting when I was a teenager and upon having my intact family threatened. I have always wanted and yearned for a meaningful relationship relationship with my parents with the ability to talk about life and share various situations, predicaments and joys with them. However, it seems like I mostly can share rainbows, bunnies, and butterflies with them and not much if anything else. I cannot address what has been performed against myself and my family. My mother’s capitulation is that I should wipe the slate clean. That may work if there were not threats made against my family.

It seems that desire for my parents in my life has increased since the combination of my simultaneous spinal and brain injuries. Whether they are healthy for my family or not, my being desires them, for I never stopped loving them.

Despite all of this complication, I have conjured a resolution to a method of causing dismissal. My solution is to ask each of them individually if they want to be known and if they want to know me beyond rainbows, bunnies, and butterflies. I believe at the least my mother will continue her stance with wanting a clean slate despite the damage that has been executed, which means that the relationship/s end or at least diminished. The result is understanding and comprehending the boundaries along with providing closure if needed. Being that I have already imagined this grievous possibility and conjured a solution, it is much easier to take a deep breath and see where things lead. Otherwise, I would always wonder and this situation would be difficult to dismiss and find closure.


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